Well, I suppose you are all waiting with bated breath to hear about my dinner date with the Professor. It was entirely lovely, except for one part.
You see, after dinner, I had a hankering for gum or a mint. I had noticed a basket of mints in the bathroom. I mentioned the mints, and like a gentleman, the Professor went to procure one for me. As soon as he left the table, the waitress brought the check. Now, I knew that the Professor intended to pay. But some perverse - I mean utterly, utterly PERVERSE - part of me thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if he came back, and I'd paid the check?" So I did.
Funny? I am a FLIPPING IDIOT. The check was $91 with tip. Why did I do that? Am I such a man hater that I can't allow them even the pleasure of chivalry? Am I some sort of financial masochist? Was the expression of bewilderment worth $91? Is there any expression the human face can make that's worth $91?