Well, I haven't posted for awhile due to general laziness and malaise, but now I have returned from holiday (a trip to Cabo San Lucas, MX) with a new lease on life. Well, it's more like with a slight rash, two masks made from coconut shells, and slightly tanned feet. Which is pretty much as close to a new lease on life as we Petards get, really.

Speaking of new leases on life, tomorrow I'm being baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church. In this time of preparation, I have been admonished over and over

not to repent of my sins

or to pray for grace

or to savor the experience

but to make sure I wear black from head to toe with BLACK NYLONS because they don't hold water like tights do. (I'm being baptized in a kiddie Jacuzzi.)

The sad thing is if I DON'T wear black stockings, instead of repenting, praying, or savoring, my inner rebel will be mumbling things like "stick it, weird R.C.I.A. guy who is so very interested in ladies footwear."

It's a good and timely reminder, though, to keep my own council, which would advise, I think, "bare skin doesn't hold water at all. And if my fish belly white legs (made ever so less so by the aforementioned vacation) have not offended God so far, maybe He won't mind seeing them one more time."

Va va voom. The girl's got gams.