My dearest Robin recently posted a blog entitled "Negotiating One Battle of the Sexes: You're Welcome" which is mostly about ham, but also about how men do not notice or care to notice women's hair cuts.
This got me to thinking about things that men wished women would notice, but we don't.
But I got nowhere because women are a very observant species. It comes from making sure the kids don't wander into a mastodon's maw.
We notice everything: small red (cancerous?) dots on shoulders, Red Bull cans in the car door cubby, and so on and so forth.
Really, our power should be harnessed for good. As soon as I can determine an (Aristotelian?) good that can be achieved via ridiculously evolved powers of observation, I am on it. In the meanwhile, I will just notice lots of stuff to no particular end.
I am woman; hear me roar.
This got me to thinking about things that men wished women would notice, but we don't.
But I got nowhere because women are a very observant species. It comes from making sure the kids don't wander into a mastodon's maw.
We notice everything: small red (cancerous?) dots on shoulders, Red Bull cans in the car door cubby, and so on and so forth.
Really, our power should be harnessed for good. As soon as I can determine an (Aristotelian?) good that can be achieved via ridiculously evolved powers of observation, I am on it. In the meanwhile, I will just notice lots of stuff to no particular end.
I am woman; hear me roar.
posted by Jean Luc Petard at
7:16 PM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry, I thought I heard some lion sounds come from your yawp, but I wasn't really paying attention. What are you on about now?
Oh, that. Your research is weak. Here are a few things we wish you would notice (and by "notice," I mean "frequently tell your friends and complete strangers who happen to be hot able-bodied ladies"):
- how great we are in bed
- what talented artists/musicians/poets we are, even when it is a damned lie, which is 93% of the time
- how talent-rich our lovemaking is, as if we are doing something wholly different than our predecessors (perhaps the comment could be, "I mean, I've been to the Louvre before, but I've never spent hours in the wing of the 15th century Italian masters, if you get my drift," and then your friend(s) can look confused and aver, "You mean everything he does is a picture of God, Mary, and/or Jesus? How many paintings of that did they think the world needed?")
- how our t-shirt does, in fact, go fairly well with our shorts
- how well endowed we are, like five to ten of your previous lovers combined
- how we are right in this particular argument, or maybe just one argument in the history of our relationship
- something else about doing it, re: our goodness at same
- how astute our observation is that the Redskins' recent re-signing of aged quarterback Mark Brunell may create undue pressures on the younger, future of the franchise Jason Campbell
- how much we hate cleaning the house, so you'll "take one for the team" because that's the kinda gal you are - swell, I tells ya
- that our concept of an all-sex based exercise routine (likely dubbed "sexercise") could theoretically burn off three meals a day of pizza and bacon, but oddly, not bacon pizza
That is an o'er-lengthy list, but then again, men are excellent compilers of lists, canned goods, and reasons not to notice things.
However, if you're so into your powers of observation, why don't you form a group of aging biddies like Miss Marple and solve mysteries, and I mean real mysteries, not the ones groups of women actually spend their time solving, like "How could [insert the name of a single friend] still be single?" (inevitable answer: men are lame, and can't see a treasure when they see it.) (The group of men would posit that men have realized that treasure is typically a heavy, overly old object that sank a previously fast, cool, awesome boat just mindin' its own, cruisin' around.)
By
paperback reader, at 10:33 PM
Oh, and one thing you can NOT notice to your heart's content: how incredibly funny we find ourselves.
However, I also want to single out "mastodon's maw" as particularly chuckle-worthy in your entry as well.
By
paperback reader, at 10:36 PM
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