My dear friend PaD has recently blogged his "Most Unimaginative Science Fiction Story Ever." I have decided to throw my (anti-gravitational) hat in the (outer) ring (of Saturn). Be warned, though. I find it well neigh impossible to be unimaginative.
In a not too distant future, a man rides to work. He is bipedal. So is his bicycle. His solar-powered bicycle.
His socially-accepted, bicurious friend bikepools with him to their place of work: the Texas Department of Guest Worker Relations.
The man begins his day by greeting the first alien in line. He firmly grasps the alien's green forehead snorkel in his palm and says, "Welcome to America!"
Hold up.
This is waaaay too fantastical.
I mean, ride sharing? I'm hopeless at the unimaginative.
In a not too distant future, a man rides to work. He is bipedal. So is his bicycle. His solar-powered bicycle.
His socially-accepted, bicurious friend bikepools with him to their place of work: the Texas Department of Guest Worker Relations.
The man begins his day by greeting the first alien in line. He firmly grasps the alien's green forehead snorkel in his palm and says, "Welcome to America!"
Hold up.
This is waaaay too fantastical.
I mean, ride sharing? I'm hopeless at the unimaginative.
posted by Jean Luc Petard at
6:07 PM
7 Comments:
Is "Satern" like "Saturn," or is that part of the amazing mythmaking? Is being "neigh impossible" part of a horse-based language that is nigh impossible for humans to learn?
I've got to say, of all my ideas, the incredibly unimaginative science fiction story is top 5. I highly recommend my version as well.
By
paperback reader, at 6:32 PM
F you and you're extraterrestrial spell checking abilities. I stand by my futuristic phonetic stylings.
By
Jean Luc Petard, at 6:47 PM
And I meant you're. Possessive pronouns no more have a stable, predictable future than the rest of us. Apostrophe...you're day has come.
By
Jean Luc Petard, at 6:49 PM
And you teach children. For shame. By the way, you knew when you didn't marry me that I was the sixth grade spelling bee champion for my school, even though all that meant was that I had to go to a county spelling bee on my own time - what kind of a reward is extra school? And like a sucker, I went. I knew I was wasting my time then, and I didn't even win, so at that moment, I vowed revenge on all people who spell words poorly. Don't get between me and justice.
By
paperback reader, at 8:28 PM
By the way, I very much like the first paragraph and usage of the word "bikepools." I feel that these unimaginative sci fi stories require multiple reads, as the comedy is rather subtle. But damned if I still don't think I'm a genius for thunkin' this up.
By
paperback reader, at 12:29 AM
Dang, I thought "neigh impossible" was done on porpoise. I like it; you should include it into your futuristic vocabulary.
By
Dr Yakalumpf, PhD, at 2:34 AM
Dr. Y, she seems to have taken your advice to heart, correcting "Satern" but not "neigh impossible." Never let it be said that your words fall on deaf ears, unless, of course, your work leads you to verbally address conferences attended by deaf people.
By
paperback reader, at 10:05 AM
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