Happy Moo Year, loyal readers. I hope your celebrations were fitting!
I ushered in '07 with a riotous bout of intestinal flu! Vomited four times in as many hours. Lasagna. Quite something to see.
I'm not sure whether a surfeit of sugary cocktails can cause gastroentiritis, but I'll surely avoid the White Russian-Dirty Girl Scout-Buttery Nipple combination in the future. Egads.
I haven't made any resolutions this year, except regarding sugary cocktails, but I think I will now take the opportunity to do so. Here goes:
I ushered in '07 with a riotous bout of intestinal flu! Vomited four times in as many hours. Lasagna. Quite something to see.
I'm not sure whether a surfeit of sugary cocktails can cause gastroentiritis, but I'll surely avoid the White Russian-Dirty Girl Scout-Buttery Nipple combination in the future. Egads.
I haven't made any resolutions this year, except regarding sugary cocktails, but I think I will now take the opportunity to do so. Here goes:
- More yoga
- Less worry-wartishness
- Reduced sugar intake
- Increased enjoyment of the present, less dwelling in the past, maintain current levels of fantasizing about the future
- Price new bed to replace old faithful (sag in middle has become quite intolerable)
Oh crap. My resolutions have become a to do list.
posted by Jean Luc Petard at
7:23 PM
1 Comments:
I also dwell a lot in the past. Not MY past, mind you, but the last twelve years of the Hundred Years' War. Henry and the Lancastrians were really something else, and I daresay their ilk shall not be seen again.
My New Year's resolution, would that I made one, would be to never again walk up to a bartender and say, "I'd like a Dirty Girl Scout, please." I've done my time for that. I still have to knock on new neighbor's houses for it, and it doesn't matter how big the "Welcome to the Neighborhood!" cake you bake them is, you're not getting that dish back. That is so rude.
Could we start calling drinks what they are, though? Couldn't the aforementioned drink just be a "Girly Mintshake?" Why the unnecessary double entendre to embarrass the bartender and drink orderer? Plus, it leads to confusion. I tried propositioning the bartender for a blow job all night long, and she kept making me a drink. A delicious, sugary drink, I grant you - but one that did not alleviate the problem I wanted her help with in any fashion. Well, I guess after the fifth one, even if she had understood me and acquiesed, it would have been a moot point.
Oh, and as long as your resolutions are a to do list, could you get some mustard at the store for the New Year?
By
paperback reader, at 12:36 AM
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