A few weeks ago, an old friend asked me why I hate men. I didn't know how to answer at the time ('cause I really don't hate men. For example, my male readership rocks hard core. So do my male relatives and the male I play gin with and the male who makes me coffee in the morning. Plus, old dudes are almost universally cool). But I have since been to WAL-MART, and here is why I HATE some men:
1.) An early thirties guy was trying to pick up his late teens cashier with this line: I used to work at CVS. You get a lot a repeat customers and you learn a lot about people's lives, you know...This was at 8:00 AM on a SUNDAY MORNING. (Aside: Right after the guy left, the girl followed him, and I was like "oh, no! It worked." But then when I left I saw she'd just taken a smoke break. Order in the universe was restored.)
2.) As I left Wal-mart, I saw a guy in a blue truck with a pair of those rubber "balls/testicles" that are so big nowadays, hanging from his tailgate. The balls were blue. This guy gave his truck BLUE BALLS.
3.) (Non-Wal-mart related.) Some guy just seriously told me that in a relationship, he expects the woman to be the "neck" and let him be the "head."
Heh, heh. Head.
Anyway, I've just informed Mr. Darcy that he is the neck in this relationship, and I am the head. He replied, "Move in the direction of the kitchen and look into getting me more parsley."
He's such a neanderthal.
1.) An early thirties guy was trying to pick up his late teens cashier with this line: I used to work at CVS. You get a lot a repeat customers and you learn a lot about people's lives, you know...This was at 8:00 AM on a SUNDAY MORNING. (Aside: Right after the guy left, the girl followed him, and I was like "oh, no! It worked." But then when I left I saw she'd just taken a smoke break. Order in the universe was restored.)
2.) As I left Wal-mart, I saw a guy in a blue truck with a pair of those rubber "balls/testicles" that are so big nowadays, hanging from his tailgate. The balls were blue. This guy gave his truck BLUE BALLS.
3.) (Non-Wal-mart related.) Some guy just seriously told me that in a relationship, he expects the woman to be the "neck" and let him be the "head."
Heh, heh. Head.
Anyway, I've just informed Mr. Darcy that he is the neck in this relationship, and I am the head. He replied, "Move in the direction of the kitchen and look into getting me more parsley."
He's such a neanderthal.
posted by Jean Luc Petard at
12:49 PM
1 Comments:
I look forward to someday meeting Mr. Darcy!
Additionally, I am assuming the location of the Wal-Mart is near where you live and work. As such, I can certainly understand the hating of some men, particularly the men from that part of the world...I have seen a lot of trucks in that neighborhood with the rubber balls on the tow hitch. And my immediate reaction is always a slight bit of regurgitation and an overwhelming desire to kick those men in their "tow hitch."
By
SwD, at 4:36 PM
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