Well, Dr. Y's misguided advice to C1150 about keeping the frog trap book under wraps (don't listen, C1150! lead with that!) has made me think that I should profer some informed advice on the subject, so that loyal readers about to date women will not make tragic and embarrassing mistakes:
1. Pay. If she's liberal, she'll try to insist on paying half. Don't let her. If you must, lick the check so she won't touch it. (Hey, if it works in a middle school lunchroom, it works in life.)
2. When you walk down the sidewalk, take the side closest to the street. SwD told me last year that men are supposed to do this. Before, I didn't know about this rule. Now, if a man takes the inside, I think he lacks class because he doesn't know the rule. This is hypocritical and ridiculous of me, but there you have it. Don't blow your chances because you have an aversion to the ridiculous.
3. If she farts, crack a joke about it. If you fart, crack a joke about it. The worst thing in the world is smelling a stinker and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. (Dr. Y likes to pretend people don't fart, and if they do, it's not funny.)
4. Don't talk about television shows. Bo-ring.
5. Compliment her. But not too much. X should be equal or less than the number of drinks you have.
There you have it. The way to a woman's heart.
1. Pay. If she's liberal, she'll try to insist on paying half. Don't let her. If you must, lick the check so she won't touch it. (Hey, if it works in a middle school lunchroom, it works in life.)
2. When you walk down the sidewalk, take the side closest to the street. SwD told me last year that men are supposed to do this. Before, I didn't know about this rule. Now, if a man takes the inside, I think he lacks class because he doesn't know the rule. This is hypocritical and ridiculous of me, but there you have it. Don't blow your chances because you have an aversion to the ridiculous.
3. If she farts, crack a joke about it. If you fart, crack a joke about it. The worst thing in the world is smelling a stinker and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. (Dr. Y likes to pretend people don't fart, and if they do, it's not funny.)
4. Don't talk about television shows. Bo-ring.
5. Compliment her. But not too much. X should be equal or less than the number of drinks you have.
There you have it. The way to a woman's heart.
posted by Jean Luc Petard at
6:43 PM
2 Comments:
The amusing thing is, to me at least [emoige], my ex-wife and her roommate keep telling me that I should just "be myself" and my general zaniness will carry the day with anyone I'd like in the long run.
Meanwhile, I feel more like Dr Y's advice with not wanting to inflict that on people I just met.
I am conflicted, to say the least.
By
c1150, at 5:03 AM
All:
You shouldn't laugh at a fart. it only encourages the farter to do it again. that is not the thing that one should positively reinforce. farts are the type of thing that should be politely ignored, like the trade deficit and global warming.
-Dr C
By
Dr Chompers, Ph.D, at 12:24 PM
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